By Mark Kaplan / February 3, 2020
Work life balance is one of the more controversial and troubling worker conundrums. How do I get my material and personal goals satisfied at the same time? Many experts say we shouldn’t be separating our work life and our personal life.
The problem arises when we do not have work that we like, have chosen as a goal, nor is satisfactory. Even worse is when work makes us unhappy and stressed. It is difficult to find life satisfactory under these circumstances.
On the other hand, when work seems purposeful, meaningful, and provides our material needs, it becomes an integrated part of our lives. We then blend our personal life to complement and support our work liife.
Yes, you argue, but what about when the satisfactory work consumes so many hours that other needs are neglected like health, family, friends, and relaxation? What if the demands of work are leading to burn out?
Balancing Our Goals
This is where the balancing of goals needs a larger concept of what creates a satisfactory life? Workers are often divided into several camps. The work doesn’t pays the bills and is not challenging nor satisfactory. The work pays the bills but is not satisfying. The work provides excellent income but is too stressful and not satisfying. The work is both monetarily rewarding and seems like one’s purpose.
These are the templates on which workers are trying to decide if they have work life balance. Each worker could have a different perspective so how does a business satisfy them all? Work life balance would seem to imply that workers are happy in both their personal and work lives and the two complement each other.
The issue always comes down to the fact we only have one life and if either work or personal time is not meeting our expectations, we can easily say our life is out of balance. If we don’t have good relationships or if we don’t like our work environment, we will feel something is missing.
Start with a More Comprehensive Life Plan
The most helpful practice is to make our goals more comprehensive before we consider our work or our personal lives. Let’s get to how the brain stimulates happiness. It is scientific fact that our brain stimulates happiness for certain behaviors. Only a few animal species have more than one brain and man is the only one with three.
The lizard brain is the common brain for all species and it operates our systems and urges us to attack for food or run from predators. The mammalian brain is the source of our emotions and memories. The neo-cortex is the source of our logic and planning.
When we engage in behaviors that promote our survival by soothing our emotions, challenging our capabilities, and exercising our bodies, our brain rewards us with dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. When we are not engaged in behaviors that promote survival we default to worry with cortisol or anxiety with adrenaline.
The secret to feeling we are living a worthwhile life is to stimulate happiness brain chemicals on a regular basis. We can do this every day. The most direct path is to engage in learning, creating, contributing, health and fitness. In our intentions, action, and satisfaction with progress, we feel happy and purposeful. This is work life balance.
Flow is Happiness
The most comprehensive state of happiness is flow. We are engaging in something in which we have capabilities and is challenging and are able to shut out distractions. The basketball player in the zone is an example. The more we live in the zone, the more blissful is our life experience.
Getting into the zone several times a day begs for creating blocks of time for our activities and trying to limit distractions. It also begs for engaging in our most progressive activities during our peak energy periods.
Thirdly, we can create more peak energy periods with the right positive behavior breaks. Engaging in exercise, meditation, solitude, naps, listening to music, or taking a walk can all create a refreshment break. It is important not to engage in mind numbing exercises during this time like web surfing, phone play, or mentally draining tedium.
Better Time Management
The mindless “to do lists” should be saved for when creativity is finished or when our energy is at its lowest ebb. The positive behavior rest breaks are as important to work life balance as the progressive work periods.
I start my day with creativity as I write and work on posts, books, or courses. I then take a break to exercise. I might work more before taking a short nap or exercising again. I relax at the end of the day with music or learning or dinner and then I could work again in the evening. At the end of the day, I have moved closer to my goals, improved my health, and had “me time” to rest my nervous system. I find this to be great work life balance.
Keystone Habits
Keystone habits can lead our day or can change our life to one of purpose. My keystone habits are learning, creating, contributing, health and fitness. I have activities each day for each habit. My brain stimulates happiness chemicals for each and coincidentally reduces the amount of stress time. At the end of each day I want to say “Wow, that was a good day!”
Work life balance is stringing together the achievements of purposeful days. We might have to evaluate how our current activities measure with these goals. We might have to evaluate how much time we are spending on meaningless habits or activities. We also need to evaluate our negative behaviors that detract from our health and capabilities.
Happiness brain chemicals are also stimulated by our social activities. The time we spend with families, friends, co-workers, and community also stimulate happiness especially when we are contributing to their betterment or improving our social status with benevolent, supportive, or protective behaviors.
If we begin with a framework of moving up Maslow’s pyramid toward self-actualization, we can create some perspective for our work and personal lives. There needs to be a “me first” attitude of self-improvement before we can give our best to our circles and communities. Work life balance begins with an attitude of reaching for our potential, satisfying the needs of all three brains, and prioritizing our activities with the most progressive first.
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